Managing ADHD with Your Spouse
Getting married means that you’re entering a partnership. But all of that can be thrown in a loop if your partner has ADHD. You end up having to take care of your responsibilities as well as your partner’s. Instead of an adult relationship, it may often feel more like managing a child. Fortunately, this can be overcome by learning how to work with your partner and tackling the ADHD problem.
Understanding the Symptoms of ADHD
To maintain a good relationship with a spouse that has ADHD, you have to learn what it actually is. Managing ADHD starts with first understanding the symptoms of the disorder.
Here are the various symptoms that you may encounter:
- The person may often be inattentive when it comes to communicating.
- The person will often have trouble concentrating on one task.
- The person will be easily distracted and forgetful, leading to careless mistakes, losing important things, and neglecting important details.
- The person may avoid things that are unpleasant, leading to many incomplete tasks.
- The person may feel hyperactive when it comes to things that provide stimuli.
- The person may make impulsive decisions without thinking about the consequences. This can be especially damaging when it comes to big decisions.
- The person may get obsessed with whatever is providing the most stimuli.
How Does Having ADHD Affect Relationships?
ADHD and relationships can be very difficult. While you may understand the symptoms, the types of symptoms and their intensity can vary from person to person. This means that it’s hard to generalize what your relationship with your spouse will be like. However, there are certain common characteristics of having a relationship with an ADHD spouse.
- You may feel like you’re being ignored due to inattentiveness. People with ADHD can often lose focus which can make you feel like your partner doesn’t value your opinion. You have to recognize it’s simply a common symptom of ADHD.
- You may feel resentful about all the broken promises that your spouse has made. Your spouse may also be failing to meet his or her responsibilities. This can make you feel like your spouse simply doesn’t care when it’s common for people with ADHD to forget about what they were supposed to do.
- It can be frustrating to deal with a spouse that’s impulsive, especially when it comes to major life decisions. In fact, you may have to take charge of everything to make sure your spouse doesn’t mess anything up.
- During disagreements and fights, your spouse may show explosive anger out of nowhere. The reason why this happens is because people with ADHD often have trouble controlling their emotions. This can make you feel hurt and scared.
As you can see, all of the ADHD can really make it difficult to maintain a good relationship in a marriage. You’ll often feel overwhelmed, disconnected, and underappreciated by your partner. Your partner may also feel guilty, controlled, and attacked by all the criticism.
Can ADHD Ruin a Marriage?
Loving someone with ADHD can be difficult. The stress caused by this disorder may lead to serious marriage problems, and eventually divorce. The key to making it work really lies in working on your communication skills. Communicating effectively can be very difficult when working with a person with ADHD. Things can often get misconstrued and blown out of proportion extremely easily.
There are several things that you can do to put your relationship on the right track:
- Try to express your emotions from your point of view instead of blaming your partner. Blaming, shaming and attacking is what often leads to the big fights.
- Repeat the important points in a conversation, especially when you’re providing instructions on what needs to be done.
- Create reminders for your spouse if there are important things that need to be done. This can be done in the form of notes and text messages.
- Ask questions to get a better understanding of where your spouse is and what your spouse needs from you. Don’t assume that everything is understood.
- Allow your spouse to express how his or her ADHD is keeping them from doing what they need to do.
- Work as a team to tackle big problems or projects. Don’t put big responsibilities onto your partner. By working together, you can lessen the workload and also communicate regularly during the process.
- Help your partner set up regular routines. It can be hard to remember new things but by creating a routine, you’ll make it easier for him or her to live an organized and well managed life.
Managing ADHD should be a priority as well. There is no cure for ADHD. However, with proper medication, the symptoms of ADHD can be managed. Many people who take ADHD medication often report a big improvement in their condition. A good number of patients even say that their ADHD has completely disappeared with the right medication.
If you are looking for a Sudbury psychiatrist, Novum Psychiatrist can help. We’ve worked with many ADHD patients and couples to successfully deal with the disorder. Trying to tackle the problem by yourself can be very difficult. Working with a professional is the best way to overcome and manage the problem.
Call us at 978 252 0873 to make an appointment and take the first step to a life where ADHD doesn’t control you or your partner.